Alain’s ATM Rigmarole

Alain needs cash. We’ve been ATM hunting since yesterday, we must have visited a hundred machines between Ikoyi and Victoria Island but none of them is obliging us. They have no respect for Alain’s mastercard and visa card. We walked into one banking hall and asked if they could swipe his card and give cash across the counter. The first lady gets distracted by another (irate) customer, the next one stares at us like we are Martians threatening her with …  ( continue reading

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Facebook President

I like President Goodluck Jonathan for a couple of things, his traditional garb does not look like a parachute or some costume for a Kabuki performance. The Ijaw might have adapted stuff from the Portuguese in defining their blouse and bowler hat as national costume but at least it looks smart. I can never understand how anyone wearing an Agbada to work every day can expect to be productive in any way, the energy needed to fold the voluminous sleeves …  ( continue reading

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Naija no dey carry last

One hundred and twenty kilometers per hour across the Oshodi-Isolo Expressway, straight on to the third mainland bridge with the rain splashing all around us and Bolaji – our designated driver – tailgating Okey Adichie all the way like a stunt driver in a suicidal Nollywood cops and robbers movie; that’s the way we brought Alain Mabanckou into Lagos, well, after an obligatory round of drinks at the airport to welcome him. Rewind back a few months. Naija no dey …  ( continue reading

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